Don't go Black Friday shopping just yet...

Like most other adults I come in contact with day-to-day, I live in a rather normal suburbanite lifestyle. The main thread of duplicity among us is that we live in excess.

Complete and utter excess.

Whether you drive a brand new, fancy car or an old beater, you still have a car. Whether you live in a single-family home, or an apartment complex, you still have a home. Whether you homeschool, send your kids to private school, or public school, your kids still have a school to attend. Whether you serve old school Kraft Mac-n-Cheese for dinner each night, or serve a four- course meal, you still have dinner.  

These facts are certainly blessings, and I thank God for them every day, but as I look at my huge king size bed, knowing I have three other beds in my house alone, it makes me both grateful and sad. Sad that I complain about having to wash my sheets, swipe out the crumbs when the kids crawl in it with us eating popcorn or crackers (!), sad that I complain about making my bed on the RARE occasion I do.

And then when you see the sheer amount of “things” our kids have… it makes me… sad sometimes.

So last year, we made a big decision in our house. We had some rather big expenses (all blessings), but felt the need to pull back on the amount of money we spent on “Christmas”. We talked to our kids about this and they were in, with not a complaint among either of them. So when we told them recently we were AGAIN sticking to the same plan we had last year…. They were fine with it!

Here’s what we did/do: We only spend $50 a piece on our kids under the tree. You read that right- $50. NOW I know some families do not have even $50 to spend on their kids at Christmas, and I urge those of you who DO to reach out to your local charitable organizations to GIVE to them, blessing another family. BUT it’s my feeling most of you reading this spend more on your children than $50 at Christmas.

Now, full disclosure, my kids are still visited by Santa, BUT Santa doesn’t spend that much either!! And guess what? Last year, my kids would tell you they had the best Christmas, and received everything they wanted. See- God’s amazing like that. Between grandparents and family members, they were blessed with a wonderful Christmas!

This short note isn’t to condemn those of you who freely spend tons of money on your kids. As parents, that is our natural instinct- to make them feel happy and special. What I do hope this short note does is get you thinking…. Could you possibly spend less this year? If you did would your kids even notice? If they noticed, is that a good thing because maybe they need a little less excess in their lives? Could you spend the same amount of money you budgeted, but give some of that money to a charitable organization? Could you take your kids to the store with you and have THEM pick out gifts to give away??

I promise you it will feel really good if you do!

Comment below and let me know your thoughts! What tradition of giving does your family already have? What will you change this year??

Tales from a Blended Life, Part Three

Alrighty- I'm ready to tackle ONE of the final two surefire rules to help our blended families survive WITHOUT the drama! (I had hoped to cover both the final two today, but it's gotten a little lengthy, and so I will post the final guideline next week!) 

In case you missed the first two posts, I encourage you to go read them (below) to better understand what "living a blended life" actually means, AND learn about the first two guidelines: 1) Wash your mouth out...  and 2) Never, EVER, say half. 


So... this guideline doesn't have a catchy phrase for its title. I tried to come up with one, but the truth is, it doesn't need to be catchy. It needs to be true. And so here it is....

3. Honor your responsibilities with a good attitude.

For this rule or guideline, I chose the word honor very carefully, instead of maybe the less formal "take care" of you responsibilities.... So let's start with the definition of "honor". It means to regard with high respect and fulfill an obligation. 

I want that one little word to set the tone with this one, and Lordy, Lordy, I could probably write a book on this topic alone! I feel like I've said that about every topic, and it's probably true, but for this one, let me give you an overall rundown of some major issues relating to parents' responsibilities after divorce/separation. I will be focusing on financial obligations here, but I recognize there are many other ways parents need to honor their responsibilities!

Countless times.... (& I realize the word "countless" means "too many to count", and therefore it is EXACTLY the word I want to use)... Countless times, I have witnessed either anger about paying child support to the mother or father, or the flat out, intentional act of NOT paying child support at all. I have also known people to countdown the days until their child(ren) turn eighteen. I have also witnessed instances where the ex who has been ordered to pay child support, ONLY pays that specific amount, and therefore tough luck to their kid if it's spent on household bills, and they still need new tennis shoes. I have also heard exes say they can't believe their former spouse needs the child support to survive month-to-month- Essentially saying what kind of adult can't make ends meet without receiving this child support money? Shaming the ex who, usually desperately, really needs the money.

Now let me tell you a little about my situation growing up in a blended family, and brag on it a bit. My father had to pay child support to my mother. And let me say, this wasn't just pennies to throw towards a couple bills each month. This was a significant amount of money. He also paid my sister's and my medical/dental/orthodontics expenses, help with college tuition, etc. 

And you know what else? You won't believe this, but my dad paid child support through my college years. YES! You read that correctly! Through my college years! The day I married my husband and was about to finish school, the torch was passed to my hubby and me to provide for one another. I got married when I was two weeks shy of turning twenty-two years old, and that is when my dad stopped paying child support. Twenty-two years old.....

And I hear exes excited when the age of eighteen comes! Are you kidding me? You don't stop being a parent when your child turns eighteen! If anything, read my story and say to yourself, it could be worse! Consider yourself LUCKY to only be obligated by court order to pay child support until your child turns eighteen. And maybe even consider the idea of continuing to pay it afterwards (maybe not directly to ex, but straight towards tuition or the child's bills during school, etc.)....

Also, I say with total confidence, my dad NEVER missed a payment to my mom. NEVER. Period. And he didn't complain about it either, and neither did my stepmom. In fact, I think she wrote out almost all of the checks! Now, my sweet husband didn't have the same experience as me. His biological father who we do not see, still owes his mother thousands of back child support. Of course, she'll never get it, and doesn't expect to, but think about it... As a single mom, she worked full time and still she struggled month after month. Many times, they only survived because of her family helping to support her and the kids no matter what. My own mother who also worked full time, often lived month-to-month when we grew up, not able to get ahead. And I know the support went exactly to what it was supposed to- taking care of us. Sometimes that meant paying for new clothes or extra toys, but mostly it meant paying the house payment and electricity bill.

And I know what some of you are saying right now- But my ex doesn't use the money the right way! It doesn't go towards what it should! And I would say if you are in this position, then I am sorry. BUT there are good things that will come out of you staying faithful and honoring your responsibilities. 

*Your children will KNOW you never failed them.

and let me get a little spiritual on you here....

*God knows. Say a prayer each time you write that check. Pray it goes towards keeping your child(ren) safe and loved. Then, you can release that money, knowing He knows you are being faithful and you, as well as your kids, will be taken care of. Though sometimes the solace you seek comes differently than you expect... I know a father who ended up paying child support to the ex, and yet he also ended up having the kids almost solely on his own. Yup, so even when he had the kids, he still paid his ex according to the court order. 

Do not think for a minute He doesn't see your sacrifice and commitment.


Now, in closing, I have to admit, I didn't always understand how truly my dad (in this case) honored his responsibilities. My parents exchanging a check every other weekend when we were heading home from my dad's house was just the way of life. I didn't ponder on it much. That is, until I got older. By my college years, I was fully aware of how blessed I was to continue to receive support each month, getting me through college so easily. I began to notice then, how different my situation was from my friends who lived blended lives. And now as a parent and adult, I am fully aware of how my parents worked together to set me up for success. 

Are you honoring your responsibilities with a good attitude, and therefore setting your kids on a path for success? Are you a step parent who is willing to lovingly write out that child support check? Are you releasing the money with a prayer, instead of holding it over your ex's head? Are you counting the days until your child turns eighteen? Are you a friend who needs to stop bashing your friend's ex, adding to the problem, and help that friend have a heart condition change?

My goal for everyone reading this is to decide to do better. Better is a step in the right decision. Take it from me- a blended life without the drama, is a life fulfilled and a life loved.


My Dad is not on social media, so I e-mail him all of my blog articles to read. He's gonna be so embarrassed I bragged on him! But let's show the love for those out there who honor their responsibilities with a good attitude! Do you have a GOOD experience to share? Comment below!

Tales from a Blended Life, Part Two

Last week I told you a little about my Blended Life, involving parents, step-parents, and many siblings. I also told you my family got it right- not perfect- but right! I want to be able to pass along my insight in how to live a blended life without the drama that we all see in families dealing with divorce, re-marriage, and siblings having different moms and dads. (Notice I didn't say "half"!)

I listed 4 surefire rules or guidelines (mostly directed towards the adults). And today I will touch on the first 2 more in depth.

1. Wash your mouth out.

It is very common in most divorce decrees to have an agreement that both parties not to speak ill of their ex-spouse in front of their children. To a mature, logical adult, this makes perfect sense. But once you add into the mix anger, pain, stress, frustration, etc., this idea of the spouses never speaking illy or harshly about their ex around the children, is almost unheard of. In fact, most of time both spouses are fighting in front of the children- yelling, and name-calling, and insults galore spouted out right next to the children.

Now, I know what MOST of you all are wanting to say to me right now- Oh, but you don't know what I've gone through! You don't know what I have had to deal with!

And to that, you're wrong. I do, and it IS possible to achieve the command that is in almost ALL divorce decrees. You just have to wash your mouth out.

I can not remember a time in my childhood where I saw my divorced parents yell and scream at one another. For that matter, I can not remember a time where either of my parents lashed out and spoke against the other to my sister or I, other than an occasional annoyance or irritation.

Is it logical for me to think they never had harsh words for one another? Or they never became irritated with a circumstance involving us? Of course not! For all I know, they could have fought like crazy----- behind closed doors. Seriously, read my words... I never heard them fight! This is nearly unheard of, but not impossible.

This is my mom and dad standing together at my wedding
watching my hubby and I dance for the first
time as a married couple.

It's simple. They made choices that affected us forever. They made a choice to get married, have two children, and then to get a divorce. But they also made a choice to guard their mouths. This choice left us kids always knowing they still loved and cared about each other, still wanted the other to prosper and do good things, still wanted the best futures for us. It is a feeling that you can give your kids as well.

Strive to let your kids see that love and forgiveness is the way that leads to peace. This is a lesson that will get them much further in life than the lesson of hate, un-forgiveness, and wishes of ill-will.

Wash your mouth out. Start today, and never turn back.


2. Never, EVER, say half.

I have a lot to say about this statement, but I'm gonna try and keep it short! Let me start out addressing "half" siblings, as opposed to "step" siblings which I will touch on as well.

A "half" sibling is one where the sibs involved have one parent that is the same. Me and two sisters have the same mom, and me and two sisters and two brothers have the same dad, therefore according to the accepted lingo in today's society, I have quite a few "half" siblings.

The problem is I have NEVER viewed any of them this way. Being that I'm the oldest, I was able to visit them all at the hospital when they were born, hold their little swaddled bodies, help change diapers, play with them as toddlers, babysit them (though those are not necessarily good memories! This goes out to my feisty red-headed sister!), cheer them on, be the proud big sis when they graduated high school, went off to college, graduated from college, watch a few get married, watch them play with my own kids- their nieces and nephews, etc.

And just because I am the oldest doesn't mean they don't feel the same way. Their memories are filled with these things too, because I was always around. Sometimes there would be time gaps in between seeing one another, but that only makes the times spent together more special.

This is my sister, Nana (my stepmom), and three of the
grandkids. I can promise you Nana never introduces
these little ones as "half" hers, and certainly not "step" grandkids!

Countless times over the years, I'd find myself in a position where I talk about my siblings. I'll say something like, "Oh, I have two sisters here, and another sister and two brothers in Tennessee." ALMOST every response is, "Oh, so they're like your half brothers and sisters."

I only get frustrated internally, because these statements aren't intentionally rude. These people are just un-informed. I can assure you that if I do not introduce my siblings as "half" brothers and sisters, I do not feel that way.

The main problem with placing that tiny four-letter word in front of a title, is that it creates a barrier between us, the children. This barrier, though probably subconsciously, can create unneeded distance and hinder relationships from forming. I can tell you as a parent now myself, how loved my kids feel by ALL their aunts and uncles. You can never go wrong having more people to spread the love around.

Now allow me to touch on "step" siblings. According to society, these would be the kids whose parent re-married someone who already had kids themselves. They are thrown together in a way. Think the Brady bunch....

I recognize this is a situation where these kids may not have the opportunity to share some of the memories I mentioned above, but I would say this to the adults involved... strive to get your family to a place where they remove the "step" from their words, and their way of thinking. This means placing all of the children in situations where the family can grow together, develop bonds, and love each other. As the adults, you should be intentional and purposeful in creating an environment where this growth of relationships is accepted and supported by everyone involved (grandparents, ex-spouses', even aunts and uncles). The more you can blend these kids together, the better chance you have at getting to a place where they truly do feel they have new siblings, and the barriers are gone.

There you have it! Just some thoughts to ponder. Remember it's not necessarily easy, but it is possible. I lived it. You just have to make the right choices.

I'll tackle the other two insights next week!

Tales from a Blended Life

It’s true, I’m the product of what I call a “Blended life”. I used to find myself saying “Broken Home”, but that sounds like a sad, pieced together existence, and that’s certainly not my life. So now I say blended…

So, what’s Blended?  Let me explain.

A couple weeks ago, I was able to get a glimpse of a family living a blended life, just like I did (and I guess still do). My family was able to join some newlyweds, who are good friends of ours, move into their new house! It’s gorgeous! It’s in a great neighborhood/area, and it’s big- really big…. And it better be, cause between them, these newlyweds have five kids! Yes, five kids! This new house will give them the space they need to spread out a bit, and I am SO sure they’ll appreciate the space to get away from each other when needed.

Is it going to always be peachy around the house? Will they always exist in a newlywed phase? Heck no! It’s only been a few months! Who knows what kind of fights have already started, but you know what? This family living a blended life is trying, striving with all they’ve got, to do it right.

Like our friends’ blended life, mine involved quite a few kids as well. My parents divorced when I was five and my little sister was two years old. Both remarried and had more children. My Mom and Stepdad had another daughter. My Dad and my Stepmom had two sons and a daughter. 

That’s a mouthful all to say- I have five siblings!

My Sisters
Disclaimer: Clearly I'm the oldest!
(My wedding June 2003)

And I witness so many families living this life, and I hate to even utter these words…. But many live it totally wrong.

As a product of this environment, I have some keen insight in how to do this right. You read my words correctly- Yes, my family got it right! Are we perfect? Nope. Hardly. But I'm proud of how our family blend works so seamlessly.

My Brothers
Disclaimer: My sibs are gonna kill me for this!
(My wedding June 2003)

In fact, years ago, my Dad was told by one of his oldest friends (who also was dealing with a blended- life scenario) that him, my mom, and my stepmom, should write a book helping other families blend together without the drama. 

Over the years, that has stuck with me, and I have mapped out in my head some surefire rules to help families (mostly directed towards adults) deal with divorce and remarriage. But even you are not dealing with issues related to divorce and remarriage, you still need to be aware of words you might be saying that can negatively affect those of us who are….. 

Over the next two blog entries I will be discussing these more in depth. But here’s the rundown:

1.  Wash your mouth out.

2.  Never, EVER, say “half”.

3.  Honor your responsibilities with a good attitude.

4.  Value your time.

I’m hoping this list gets you curious…. Gets you thinking… gets you changing….

Clearly, I have taken a much needed break over the summer meaning less computer time, and more kid time. But I think the chaos has now calmed a bit, and Tales from a Blended Life Part 2 will post later this week!

  

Spouses- Accept the challenge!

So..... I'm a writer.... There, I said it. I finally said it. 

Wow. Those three little words took a long while to finally spit out! You see, as long as I can remember I have been telling stories in my head, coming up with plot lines, making up characters....basically talking to myself. 

But, not many people ever knew this hidden character trait of mine. And truly, how could they have? My past would not give them any insight.....

When I began college at 18, (also when I met my husband) I was dead set on being the next Katie Couric. 

 yes that one.....

And since then my careers have been all over the place....

Early Childhood Education Teacher

Stay-at-Home Mom

Real Estate Agent

Small Business Owner

Full Time Grad Student

Stay-at-Home Mom (again)

Children's Ministry Director

Stay-at-Home Mom (again!)

At least, I have a smorgasborg of backgrounds to pull from when it comes to my stories! 

Almost a year ago, I quit my full-time job in Children's Ministry. The main purpose was to try and tame the chaos in our family life. The endless days of trying to fit everything in had weighed heavily on us. We had no built-in downtime, especially since I worked on the weekends. But, what most people don't know is that one reason I was unable to "cram" everything in is because on top of all the normal everyday chaos of family life, I was in the midst of writing my second book. 

Now, will I ever get published? Who knows? Time will tell. But honestly, whether anyone ever reads my stories or not, this year has been amazing! Being home and writing has taught me so much about myself, my priorities (whether screwy or not), and most importantly what a truly WONDERFUL husband I have.

He lets me be me. He supported me when I wanted to be the next Katie Couric, and every dream that came afterwards. He gets up at 4:30am most mornings and goes to work ALL day (in the outside elements I might add!) so he can give us a great, spoiled life. He is unbothered by the fact it's very possible when he leaves for the day I might type on my computer and not get anything else done around the house.    

Numerous times, friends or acquaintance have asked, "Oh, you're not working at your church anymore?" 

And my husband's the first to jump in, "Oh no, she's a writer now. She's written two books."

At which time, I usually cringe, not sure I am worthy of that title. But... he thinks I am. His support feeds my soul. His love for me shown by allowing me to pursue my dream makes my heart happy daily. 

This year, as his support for me has been flashing like a neon sign over my head, I've noticed how many people I know who do not have the support of their spouse. And I'm definitely not just talking about careers here. I'm talking everything from finances to what to pray for, their kid's sports to family drama, how to discipline their kids to how they should school them, whether they should attend church to what constitutes too much alcohol at a party. I mean, seriously, my examples could form a long list! 

And this makes me so sad.... makes my heart hurt for them, especially as I am experiencing how support from your spouse can heal so many things.

If I could just scream one thing to my loved ones, my friends and family members, it would be, "You married them, now figure out how to compromise and nurture each other!"

Society... Married couples... we have to do a better job. We have to make the decision to support our spouses. To work together and compromise. To never squelch the dreams of the ones we love.

Are you doing a good job at this? Are you supportive? Are you willing to listen to your spouse's concerns? Or are you stubborn? Are you selfish? Are you unwilling to compromise?

As Mother's Day and Father's Day approach, and those of you with children figure out how to celebrate the spouse who gave you them, ask yourself these questions. If the answers to them cause you to wrinkle your nose, maybe the best gift you could give this holiday would be to make changes and answer those questions differently next year.

Accept the challenge! You can do it!


And for all those other writer friends, check out these writer blog posts on writing amidst the chaos of life!

Katie Couric Photo taken from: Today Show, TV Show History 
and can be found by clicking {{here}}.

Be Used...

Do you ever have a day that goes by on autopilot? You know, maybe you've made a checklist you supposed to get done, places you need to go, emails and phone calls you have to return, but it's all almost monotonous? And then, at the end of the day, your completely exhausted, and yet you think, what did I really accomplish today? Did I make a difference in someone's life today? Did I make a difference in my child's life today? My husband's life today?

If you're like me, you may always feel busy, but may not ever see the evidence of the "busyness"! I mean, who of you reading this has cleaned the kitchen before you went to bed- leaving NO dishes in the sink, counters wiped down, all the food put away (I hope!), and even swept up the little crumbs that stick to the bottom of your feet (that's the worst!)- ONLY to wake up in the morning and walk into the kitchen to see coffee stains and sticky stuff already accumulating, milk sitting out, wrappers from the yogurt someone's eaten laying FACEDOWN on the counter, and dishes ALREADY in the sink! I mean, how does that even happen?

Well, this autopilot kind of life, this repetitive motion of cooking, cleaning, working, etc has recently left me kind of blahhhhhhhhh. I'm definitely not going so far as to say empty- cause I love my life and family, and I have been supremely blessed- but how can I get out of feeling this "blah"ness??

And God keeps recalling to my soul some wise words spoken at a Ladies Retreat I went to a few weeks back. Our very wise speaker, Donna Brown (hehe- she's my mom!), led a session where she challenged us to allow ourselves to be used by God for someone else's miracle. You know, our society gives the word "used" a negative connotation, but that's certainly not always the case at all! If we are not open to jumping in to help someone who is sick, or broke, or even just sad, we may be getting in the way of how God was going to do a miracle in that person's life, or even in ours through them!

And lately, it's like God has to keep slapping me upside the head with this idea! It's not about me- what makes me happy,  or what I have to "get done" today, or what makes my world go around. And when I try and make it about me, you know what happens? I go to bed, stare up at the ceiling and think what did I even accomplish today?

So, that's why when I couple things in my sacred schedule got changed today, I sat down to add more "things" to my to-do list excitedly. You know what they were at first??
1. Mop
2. finish tax stuff

Hahaha! These were the things I was (admittedly) excited about adding to my "to-do" list today! And so when a friend reminded me about an opportunity to serve some lunches to some local children who might not receive a lunch today, I balked...... I mean, I have a floor to mop for pete's sake! That floor doesn't get clean on its own!

And then God lovingly brought me back around to being available to be used in a miracle. We're on Spring Break here, and these children, most of whom are on free or reduced lunches, might not have gotten a satisfying and healthy lunch today. Some may not have even received a lunch at all. Plus, this was an activity where my kids would get the chance to serve someone else- they would get to experience compassion at its finest!

So, guess what? We went to serve lunches! And it was such a wonderful experience. The overseers of this event were wonderful and very organized, and the kids who showed up were ADORABLE! They were so appreciative and all smiles.

And later today, God opened my eyes to another way I can be used in one of His miracles. A good friend of mine had a stroke 6 years ago, and since then she lost function on her left side. This amazing woman of two sons lives on her own! She has relearned everything, and loves to share her story with other stroke victims who think they will never recover what their sickness took from them. She is an inspiration- I know firsthand because I see her involvement in our Women's and First Touch/Prayer Ministries at our church.

She is a wonder to behold for sure. And though she admits she may not ever regain function with her left arm, she has always believed she would one day walk normally again- without a cane, and over uneven surfaces, and some stairs. She has prayed for this seemingly (to certain docs) impossible prayer. But, it has been answered! She has had the opportunity to receive what we're calling a bionic leg! With this device, her dreams can be realized! I know God has used these specialists to give her this gift- BUT this gift comes at a high price- a price she cannot afford and insurance does not cover.

So, do you want to participate in one of God's miracles today? I know that He loves when we use social media to do His work! Read Kelly's story by clicking {{here}}, watch the video, share her story, and please consider being a part of her miracle!

Oh- and you know what? I still had time to mop the floor! I think I'll go to sleep happy for many reasons this day.......

And the Shoutout Goes To...

Well, it's taken over a week, and I think I have finally recovered. But....

Last weekend left me tired. 
Last weekend left me on edge.
Last weekend left me defeated.
Last weekend left me with tons of evidence as to why I would be TERRIBLE single mom!

My husband and his buddies at the Daytona 500!

My husband was able to check off a box on his bucket list last weekend. He and some buddies went to the Daytona 500! The "Super Bowl" of racing according to the guys. I, personally, do not understand the drive to see drivers drive around a track 200 times. But, plenty of people do, and my husband is one of them.

He left before the sun came up Friday morning, and came home Monday afternoon. In that relatively short time, he played golf three times (yes, three), ate tons of seafood, and sat with thousands of others to watch these drivers drive.

I was truly, genuinely happy for him, excited even. But, come Monday afternoon, I longed to hear the garage door opening signaling he was home! I longed for someone to back me up when I took my daughter's phone away because she's addicted to it. I longed for someone else to listen to my son tell one of his many stories and respond with, "Oh...", "Sure", "Cool", "Nice", or "Ooooo". (Parents- you know the drill.) I longed for someone else to be available to make chocolate milk or a much-needed pot of coffee!

But, here's the thing....the week before he left, I actually told my girlfriends, "It'll be easy. I mean, we'll miss him. But, I already make lunches everyday, cook dinner everyday, do the laundry everyday, grocery shop practically everyday. So, our routine won't change much."

Ha!


I'm ashamed I ever uttered those words.

While I was happy he got to take a trip of a lifetime, I was ecstatic when he came home.

Because I can not do this parenting thing alone. So, I have to say:

*Never take your other half for granted! Sometimes just their proximity alone can be just the comfort and support you need.

*And I have to give a Shoutout to all the Single Parents! You are the Superheroes of the parenting realm. Your endurance, patience, and perseverance amaze me. Single Parents have always held a special place in my heart, (you know who you are!) and I pray blessings of peace, joy, and rest for you. When you are tired, or defeated, remember you are raising the next World-Changer, and you are that World-Changer's whole World.

My thoughts exactly........

Go Ahead and Jiggle It

Within the span of a 24 hour period last week, there were specific occurrences which followed a central theme and could not go unnoticed.

Why, oh why, do we pick on ourselves so??

I just so happened to take my very first CrossFit class this past week. I was pretty nervous I'd look like a fool, and only agreed to go with some friends of mine, a husband and wife team. (who workout together every chance they get- and who're so sweet and encouraging to one another!) Well, when I got there my friend basically apologized in advance for her forthcoming performance..... She even said one time a while back, "I know I don't look like I CrossFit, but I do." She has had some recent health issues which have resulted in her sitting on the sidelines a bit lately. And therefore (I guess) felt as if she'd go ahead in get it out of the way that she wasn't going to do very good during class. 

Here's the problem- SHE KICKED MY BUTT!

And I couldn't help but ask myself why did she even begin to think she wasn't "good enough"? Here's the other thing- this girl is GORGEOUS! Like, take your breath away stunning and exotic, and admittedly, I'm a little jealous of her light blue eyes and sleek jet black hair! So, why does she pick on herself so??

Then, later, I realized that very morning I'd done this same thing to myself! Moms you'll understand this- after my babies, I have this "belly skin" that just hangs around and has a mind of its own. Sure, it gets better when I lose 5 pounds and worse when I gain 5 pounds- but no matter what- it's still there! It even pokes out more on one side than the other! And just that morning, I had asked my husband if he could "see how it pokes out?" Of course, he should never actually answer a question like that from his wife. And he exclaimed, "No, I don't even know what your talking about!" Of course he's lying, because my son is 5, and therefore I probably have pointed this particular flaw of mine out to him 1,000 times by now!

BUT- why, oh why, do we pick on ourselves? Why, oh why, do we point out our flaws constantly?!
And men aren't immune to this either! 

I think we just have to get off our butts and take care of the body God has given us, find a man or women who appreciates our flaws, or maybe is just blinded by them cause they love us...

and jiggle a little bit......
See, at the end of that 24 hour period, I saw this video. I believe it's a commercial airing in England. I had seen it before, but this time, it had new meaning. At least my friend and I are getting out there and jiggling a little! 

No more picking on ourselves! Because even our jiggly flaws are cool when we're working hard and staying healthy.

Need motivation? Check out all the jiggle glory here.

The LumberSexual...

One of my husband's BEST personality traits is that he really DOES NOT CARE what other people think of him. He has this confidence, not cockiness, about him that I simply may not ever understand. He can throw on whatever he wants, and go anywhere he pleases, and NEVER wonder if he "looks good", or if "he's dressed appropriately for the occasion", or if he "should have worn different shoes".... I mean I could go on and on and on! My husband is a guy who, not once, but multiple times, has tried to walk out of the door heading to church on Sunday mornings dressed in old ratty jeans and a camoflouge shirt- AND I'M TALKING THE UGLY CAMO! And you can forget "matching", because those rules never apply to him. That'd be silly to worry about your clothes all being in the same color scheme, right? Sure- MOST of us think so, and maybe a tiny part of my husband would even agree. But, either way, he just simply doesn't care, because he is completely unbothered by what other people might think of him.

Which is why it is HILARIOUS that my very own crazy husband has found himself, unknowingly, in the trendiest category around! He was a LumberSexual LONG before it was cool to be one! (Google LumberSexual, or search for pics in Pinterest and you'll see EXACTLY what I'm talking about!) In fact, just a year ago, we all teased him for his lumberjack look, and love of plaid flannels. Add in the beard that comes with every Fall (due to hunting season), and there you have it- my very own LumberSexual. To top it all off, (and look for my pun here) he wears his long hair pulled back in a topknot half the time. The topknot alone could be a whole other blog!  

And it got me wondering..... how in the world did my husband become trendy for the moment? And then, I thought maybe it's because he just doesn't care. Maybe all the original Lumbersexuals started out just like my husband. Confident. Uninhabited by insecurities. Cool because they aren't trying to be cool. Anxiety free. Unflustered by daily demands.... 

Maybe my husband's very personality is what made the Lumberjack-look appealing!

Hey, you never know.... but think how freeing it must be to live your life like my husband? To walk through your day with not a care in the world?

Personally, I'm going to try to live more like him. I'm sure I'll always strive to match, and I certainly won't show up to church in real-tree camo attire. But, I will try to not worry so much about what others could be thinking about me... How others might be judging me...

Who knows? You could live this way and find yourself sparking a whole new trend!

Oh, the freedom!


Just for fun I made a "LumberSexual" board on my Pinterest page. It took all of five minutes- they're everywhere! You can check it out here!

It's cool to be kind...

Earlier this week, I clicked on a Facebook link, and watched an adorably sappy commercial from an insurance company in Thailand. (My cousin informed me all Thai insurance commercials are like this and to youtube it! So, I did. Too funny, but true!)

Anyways, I'm always a sucker for those links where the post says, "Get your tissues ready!" So, no surprise, I teared up almost instantly when the commercial hit its "punchline". See, the commercial was all about this young man who traveled the same route everyday (probably to work), and everyday he gave all he had to the people who crossed his path- the plant which needed water, the lady who needed help with her heavy food cart, the stray dog who needed food, the little girl who needed money so she could afford to go to school and get an education, and the elderly neighbor he anonymously brought food to. The townsfolk who watched this young man do these things everyday were almost annoyed with his compassion. How could a working class young man be so ignorant with his money? How could he give the stray dog food and leave himself the scraps?

But, the point of the commercial was he didn't get material or worldly things in return, he received much, much more. He received emotions.  Think about that- emotions. He felt joy, love, happiness, a sense of accomplishment and achievement, kindness, laughter, security, friendship, and the list could go on and on. The stray dog became his dog, the food cart owner became his friend, the little girl finally attended school.

This commercial, whose link is posted below, tugged at my heart strings (which was its intention!) and made me think of my daughter....  I want her to be like this young man.

She is at such a delicate age. All around her there are kids desperately trying to find their way in this chaotic world. Kids who care more about the brand name on their sweatshirt. Kids who want to be tough and achieve this by putting others down. Kids who want to get the attention they lack from home, and therefore act out in class, or have numerous boyfriends/girlfriends to fill the empty spaces. Kids who are desperately trying to do whatever it takes to be considered cool, to be popular.

We've all been there. We all remember what adolescence is like- it stinks! But, I want my daughter to be different. I tell her often I'm fine with her desire to be popular, that I even want her to be considered "cool". But, I want her to be these things because she's known for being kind.

It can be done. It can be done without the brand name clothes. Without the boyfriends (or girlfriends). Without the new i-Phone. Without putting someone else down to get there.

What will she get out of being popular because she's kind? Not the latest technological device, cause mama can't afford it. Not the $60 hoodie because of its logo on the front, cause mama can't afford that either.

What she will get in return is something way more valuable. She will get emotions.

I'd take joy, love, happiness, security, and true friendship over those things any day.

Check out the sweet commercial that sparked my ramblings here!